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How To Handle Rejection From a Man In 7 Self-Loving Ways

When I was in college, I fell head over heels for one of my classmates. He was everything I wanted in a man – handsome, smart, good sense of humor, emotionally aware. So I decided to shoot my shot and asked him out. And he agreed.

We went on a couple of dates, and it all seemed like it was going well…until we kissed. Almost immediately, he told me that he didn’t feel a spark. “What do you mean there’s no spark? I felt a whole freaking volcano in my stomach!?” I thought to myself.

Eventually, I had no choice but to accept the situation. But I was still devastated. I kid you not; it took me solid two months to get over that rejection.

To be completely honest, I’ve been rejected more times than I like to admit. So I think it’s safe to say that I’ve mastered the art of getting over it. So how did I do it?

What helped me the most was remembering that I’m not alone. I’m not the first person, nor will I be the last one to get rejected. Rejection is an unavoidable aspect of being human.

If you’re reading this article, then you probably need some advice on how to handle rejection from a man. Here are some more tips that I pulled out of my sleeve based on my long (and quite dramatic) history with rejection.

1. Allow Yourself Time To Process

So you had your hopes dashed. You probably feel betrayed, hurt, confused, and angry. And I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way. Because you should, it’s important to acknowledge your feelings. Those emotions are valid, and you need to recognize them.

I know it’s cliche, but time really does heal all wounds. So it’s okay to feel devastated but remember that it won’t always be like that. There will come a day when you’ll feel completely free of those emotions. So trust the process and allow yourself some time.

2. Express Yourself In Words

Writing everything down on paper might help with dealing with rejection in love. I know for sure it helped me. I started keeping a journal, and I spent 5 minutes every day expressing my emotions. This was also a wonderful way to look back and reflect on what I was going through.

But you don’t have to journal if that’s not your cup of tea. In which case, you might want to consider joining an online platform or forums where you can connect with like-minded people. This could contribute to faster growth.

3. Change Your Perception Towards Rejection

Contrary to what you might think, rejection isn’t bad. In fact, it’s incredibly healthy. It makes space for the one to come. The fact that he rejected you doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. It simply means that you haven’t met the right person yet.

As much as you like the person that rejected you, you need to keep reminding yourself that some people are just not meant to be in your life. So don’t victimize yourself. If you’re trying to get over rejection, then you need to shift your perspective. There’s no way around it.

4. Cut The Negative Self-Talk

In many cases, when people get rejected, they don’t understand exactly the reason for it. So they naturally assume that they’re “not good enough”, and that’s why their love interest rejected them. In situations where you feel vulnerable, it’s easy to fall into the downward spiral of negative introspection. But your inner critic is your worst enemy.

If you’re reading this article, it’s likely that you just got rejected. If that’s the case, you know how it feels to think that you’re not good enough. But always remember that the rejection has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. So cut the negative self-talk and remind yourself that you’re worthy, and avoid blaming yourself.

5. Adapt The “Thank You! Next!” Mantra

Just because one guy rejects you doesn’t mean everyone else will. You are a beautiful, lovable human being, and sooner or later, someone will realize that. By adapting the “Thank you! Next!” mindset, you will prevent yourself from dwelling on the rejection.

When I was going through the breakup I told you about, I started over-generalizing and thinking I was undesirable. But soon, I realized that just because it didn’t work out with that one person doesn’t mean that all my love interests from now on will dislike me as well. I actually couldn’t wait until another boy came along.

So I literally said, “Thank you! Next!” AKA “Thank you for showing me you’re not the one. I’m now ready for him to enter my life”.

6. Share You Feelings With People You Trust

You probably hear that a lot – surround yourself with people who make you feel valued. Why? Because you don’t have to go through that alone. Maybe you don’t even need advice, but I’m sure you need someone to make you feel better. And is there a better way to feel better than feeling loved? I don’t think so.

But the reason why you have to surround yourself with people that value you go much deeper than that –  rejection unsettles our fundamental need to belong. Therefore, in order to feel like you belong again, you have to spend time with those who accept you for who you are.

7. Focus On Other Goals

Being in love can be distracting. When I was “simping” for my college love interest, I was surprised to find how much time and energy this requires. I couldn’t focus on anything, and I couldn’t concentrate even when I was attending lectures. In fact, I almost failed a course because my mind was too busy thinking about our next date. Being in love is freaking exhausting!

Well, I don’t need to tell you that, do I? You know better than anyone how tiring it is. Now that you don’t have anything to look forward to, you can finally focus on your other goals. Consider it a healthy distraction. Now it’s time to catch up on your books, focus on your career, or finally work on those hobbies of yours.

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