How to Ask a Guy Out: 3 Foolproof Ways to Get an Awesome Date
If you’re wondering how to ask a guy out, fear not! We’re here to talk you through different ways to make an amazing connection and get the date of your dreams. It’s not as hard as you might think!
Why you should learn how to ask a guy out
If you’re reading this article, you’ve probably started to think about how to ask a guy out, maybe you even have someone specific in mind, but you’re wondering if should you take the plunge? It’s always going to be scary to take a risk and put yourself out there, especially if you’re used to guys asking you out instead of the other way around! So, if you’re still on the fence about whether or not you should take the plunge, allow us to tell you why we think it’s a great idea.
It’s a confidence boost
Learning how to ask a guy out will boost your confidence, plain and simple. Instead of waiting around for something to happen, you’re owning your power and going after what you want. Even if you step out and don’t end up getting the answer you wanted, you’re still going to be proud of yourself for trying! In fact, sometimes failure can be the best thing for us. Once you’ve experienced the worst-case scenario, you’ll realize that it’s not as scary as you might think.
Guys appreciate it
Something that stops some people from learning how to ask a guy out is that they worry that guys are put off when someone is bold enough to approach them. Nothing could be further from the truth! In fact, there are whole businesses like the dating app Bumble that work on the premise that guys like to be asked out. In a culture that primarily puts the pressure on guys to initiate, it can be incredibly refreshing, and, yes, attractive, when someone else makes the first move.
How to ask a guy out when you don’t know him
This is for the random stranger who catches your eye. Whether that’s in a coffee shop, at an event, or even at the grocery store, this probably takes the most courage because you don’t know anything about this person! But there’s nothing stopping you from finding out more, right?
#1 – Make eye contact
Make a connection by catching the guy’s eye and smiling. If he doesn’t smile back, or if he seems to shut you down right away, this could be a signal that he’s not single or interested.
#2 – Start a conversation
This could be as simple as saying hi. Make some normal small-talk or ask him a question just to start up a conversation. Don’t overthink this part, just remember you do this all the time.
#3 – Get to the point
There’s no need to stretch out the conversation unless it’s going really well. Chat until you reach a natural pause, and then just be honest. Say something like, ‘I’d love to hang out sometime. Do you think I could get your number?’
If he says yes, amazing! Get his number and text him to set up your date.
If he says no, just remember that it may not be a personal rejection no matter how much it might feel like it in the moment. He might be seeing someone else, or only visiting your area. You don’t know the backstory, so don’t let embarrassment fill in the blanks. Stay polite and say something like ‘That’s okay, I just thought I’d ask! It was nice to meet you.’
How to ask a guy out when you’re already friends
Even if learning how to ask a guy out when you don’t know him feels pretty risky, it can almost be more nerve-wracking when you do know him! No one wants to make a friendship awkward or feel the pain of rejection. But if you have feelings for one of your friends, waiting around and never saying anything can be worse! Here at the Adventure Challenge, we think some things are worth risking for, and this is one of them.
Our advice for how to ask a guy out is this: plan the date before you ask him.
Sounds weird, right? But here’s the thing: a specific invite is always going to sound better than a vague ‘date’. ‘Let’s hang out sometime’ is not as inviting as ‘I have a spare ticket to this concert. Wanna come?’
So, come up with a fun activity you’d love to do together and invite him. Then drop the ‘d’ word: tell him you’d love for it to be a date! It’s so important for you to be clear about this, because you don’t want to show up for the date and realize that he thinks he’s just hanging with friends.
If you’re nervous, remember, this guy cares about you. He’s not going to embarrass you or think less of you for being bold!
At the end of the day, dates are fun. Being asked out is fun – and learning how to ask a guy out can be fun too.
How to ask a guy out over text
A lot of the same guidelines for how to ask a guy out in person also apply to asking him out via text. But, because you don’t have the benefit of body language and tone of voice, it’s extra important to be very clear when you’re asking someone out over text. Using the word ‘date’ is almost definitely a good call, here.
There are two different scenarios where you might find it easier ask a guy out over text:
#1 – You don’t know him, but he gave you his number or you got his number from a mutual friend
In this scenario, you want to start by introducing yourself and explaining the connection before inviting him to hang out. ‘Hi, I’m ____. It was great to meet you last night / _____ gave me your number. I’d love to get to know you more. Do you want to grab coffee this weekend?’
You could be general and simply say ‘Do you want to go on a date this weekend?’, but, like we’ve already discussed, it’s often best to offer a specific activity or plan.
#2 – You know him and you already text
You might already know the guy you want to ask out, but what if you don’t see him in person all that often? While asking someone out face-to-face is usually better than over text, sometimes digital communication is your best option.
There’s no rocket science to how to ask a guy out over text. Message him and ask if he wants to do something with you – make it specific. Dinner, coffee, a walk; you know what would suit you two the best. Keep it lighthearted and low-stakes, and, for extra clarity, add ‘I’d love it if this could be a date.’